What do you want me to do? No man should ever be asked to choose between the woman who raised him and the woman who shags him. Does he want you to act like her, cook like her, clean like her, dress like her—basically be her? Often, women expect men to have difficulties talking about intimate issues, but when a woman finds out her man has been speaking to his mother about their relationship problems and not with her, she feels betrayed.
He should have no problem being honest with you about issues in your relationship. These issues should stay between the two of you, and not between him and his mother. Let him know that it is not acceptable. Love and relationships are a two-way street. Nothing terrifies me more than being so close to someone and then watching them become a stranger again. Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from the week to your inbox every Friday. You may unsubscribe at any time. By subscribing, you agree to the terms of our Privacy Statement.
I had been asking mama's boy for years to do yoga with me. I even had a friend who offered him free classes He started leaving work in the middle of the day going to her apartment and doing private yoga lessons. And they saw nothing wrong with this.
This was so hurtful to me but through this experience I learned to care for myself to validate myself, to honor my feelings and see through the delusion I was living in. Ultimately, I as able to make the best choice for myself to leave this unhealthy dynamic as I had no vision of living the rest of my days being with my feelings being completely disregarded.
Their whole existence consists of flying monkeys, many of whom are paid help, who are rewarded for believing all the bullshit. I am so angry at her for destroying him, but I have to realize that this is probably what she was taught is love. Those who are used to a life of neglect and abuse are likely to allow their boundaries to be so violated by this toxic duo. It's not the life. I tried and I even got to the point that I felt sorry for him that he had to constantly deal with her, she has taken so much from him, even ruined his relationship with women such as myself which, under ordinary circumstances may have been really good for him It is a match made in hell!
Why you may ask? These toxic mother's teach no values other than complete loyalty to themselves and the pathological family system. It is soooo frustration my mother in law still has EX wedding pictures up on walls!! My husband and his mother think this is fine!! Ann, I feel for you. You are not being valued or appreciated. These things never change. I hope you will use this as an opportunity to dodge a very miserable bullet. I dated a mommys boy for 8 miserable years First year i spoiled his at christmas, next year she spoiled him, over the top He moved in with me after the first year Yet we paid rent and i spent over 10k fixing things.
I wanted to move out for my sanity He would come home after 8 sometimes around He was her partner and she was his Im very aware of how to do things, he compared everything i did to how she did things, cooking, cleaning the house was always a pigpen. In his eyes yet the man never once cleaned the bathroom , only did dishes maybe 10 times in 8 years, oh and the best part during this time i needed 3 separate surgeries, guess where he was after he dumped me off at home He told me he was to busy with work, but he would help me within couple weeks, yet he spent the whole day at her house doing yard work I am so sorry you had to go through that huytongirl.
It seems like you are better off alone. This is a situation in which a Mama's boy has hurtful consequences. Thanks for sharing that! I too have just ended it with mine. He lived at home, at the age of He moved back when he was physically ill, but stayed: All he can talk about is how he hates his mother and how she "emotionally blackmails" him.
But he pays no bills and gets all his housework done. Things were going that way here, too. And every time we argued he'd run home to his parents. Last straw was him taking all his stuff back there without even telling me or leaving a note. This finally made me realise he cannot be trusted not to run home if things are difficult. I was too much of a doormat - too scared to lose him to fully express myself as were they. They created a bit of a monster, and I fed that monster.
I worry I will beg him to come back, and I pray I can resist that. The sole consolation is that if I did, it wouldn't last long. What a bitter set of lessons this has been. This is one of the most misleading stereotypes I ever saw that will make many women fall in the arms of complete momma's boys. What that stereotype tells is that society does not accept that the son go away from the mother I am myself not a momma's boy at all, have very cold and distant relation with my mother had too Maybe the difference for me is that I confront my mother and don't make other women pay instead of my mother.
I dumped my bf of 2. He is a 34 year old man that could not commit to sleeping over my place. I knew he was going to propose within the next month or two. I freaked out knowing that he was ready to propose but couldn't sleep over my place times a week because he said he needed to stay home to take care of his mom whom is an able bodied 60 year old He knew exactly what his mother did bc he would tell me "my mom makes me feel guilty for wanting to sleep over your place".
He never really put his foot down. I really love him so much and I am hoping and praying that by me dumping him and cutting off all ties, he will realize. Thanks so much for reading and commenting Rolly. You are absolutley right. There are lots of Daddy's girls too. Some people just don't go into a relationship realizing they need to put their spouse first. It does go both ways. I smiled when I read this because I know a couple where the man is a Mama's boy. Often he forgets about his obligations at home to tend to Moms needs and it has started to cause a great deal of friction.
There is also the senario of Mom's girl that should be considered. It can go both ways Thanks for reading and commenting Thelma. There are so many people dealing with this issue. Excellent pointers for women on how to find out if their men are mamas boy. After 20 years of this, he probably thinks you will tolerate anything. I would be afraid that this attitude will affect your daughters one day.
He sounds like someone who doesn't respect women. All I can say is you can't change him. You can only change how you allow him to treat you. He has to be the one to draw some healthy boundaries between the both of you and his mother. I hope things get better for you. I've been w a mamas boy for 20yrs. When asked why he never defended me, he says I deserved it.
His mom took over my home and my children. We tried to make it work, but instead he started hating on my own mom, for completely made up reasons!! So on top of everything else, he is a compulsive liar. Outside of these issues, he appears loving, is a good dad to his boys and girls, but I also think he is incapable of divorcing me although he has made threats.
The answer almost seems obvious, but what should I do? We tried therapy 10yrs ago, but I will not recommend that since he thinks everything his mom did to me was right not liking my American clothing, my cooking, and even forcing me to go places w her. I saw the movie Monster In Law. There is no way any woman should be in such a demeaning relationship. You are right about Daddy's boys too. Thanks so much for your insightful comment. I totally agree with you as I myself have heard a lot about them.
Also, there are Daddy's boys who listen to their fathers in every way which can be equally tiresome as Mama's boys! Yes, you are absolutely right that the man should establish the boundaries with his mother and takes very good care of his wife or girlfriend. Your list of red flags are clearly stated. While reading this engaging hub, the film 'Monster-in-law' popped up in my mind - in this film, Jennifer lopez's finacee was quite a Mama's boy though he loved his finacee very much.
However, after many stifling consequences with her over-pushy would-be mother-in-law Jane fonda, in the end Jennifer advised Jane to accept the boundaries with her son, they patched up and all ended well. Well, this is one of the fewest exceptions! If any man is a typical Mama's boy, better avoid him! I think tammyswallow, human nature and behaviours are almost same all over the world. I also love and enjoy hubpages, it allows me to know different people and their views on different issues. It is really interesting to learn that this problem happens in other countries.
I love Hubpages because we can global views of such situations. Thanks so much for sharing that.
It seems we are on the same page! Does your man act more like a boy when he's around his mom? Do you feel like he's constantly choosing her over you? Does he expect you to coddle him the way his mother does? Has your guy become his mom's pseudo-husband which is making it hard for him to commit to you?
I'm Dating A Mama's Boy
Or is it mama that's not yet ready to cut the cord? Have you reached the point where you're planning tell him that he has to start setting some boundaries? Or are you going to confront his mother directly and tell her to back off? If you appear to be between the ages of and feel that it's time to rehabilitate your mama's boy, email us at casting triplethreattv. Please include your name, location, phone number and recent photos of yourself. Your thoughts are very insightful lovedoctor It is a big symptom of lack of boundaries.
Thanks so much for visiting and commenting. A very well-written article. I've never dated a mama's boy and I wouldn't be interested either. I've always loved a strong and independent man. Mama's boys are not necessarily bad guys, it's just that they haven't learned to set some boundaries. On the other hand, some of these mother in laws haven't learned to respect their grown son's boundaries. It might work for some women, but not for me. You are just right-on, right down-the-line, hitting the nail on its head, with your information.
Fun to read, and a great 'flag' for others, I'm sure. You are very brave Ruchira! Thanks for the comment! I will check it out. Thanks Jackie, They really do. It is selfish of a mother to expect her son to live for only her. I appreciate that thought!
I so agree with you. Mothers who baby their sons or daughters and don't push them out of the nest just cannot seem to see what a disservice they are doing children they claim to love. That seems to be the consensus on this so far. So many people have been through it. Thanks for your visit!
True Life - Season , Episode I'm Dating A Mama's Boy - gumyxezate.tk
Good advice -- hard to compete with a man' mother -- so I don't know that getting into a relationship with such a boy is worth it. Voting this Up and Interesting. Good for you Jeannie! You will do better to find someone who will make you a priority. I just dumped a Mama's boy.
I could go off on a rant about it, but what is the point? I've dated a couple in my time and I hope to never make that mistake again. Voted up and awesome! You hit the nail on the head Peanutritious. These relationships are not healthy and if the man is not willing to respect you enough to enforce the healthy boundaries, he needs to go. I am glad you got out of this type of relationship. It isn't good for anyone! Did you write this about my ex? Him and his dominating mother had an unhealthy bond. She never liked me and made it perfectly obvious.
When I mentioned it to him his response was 'She's always like that with my girlfriends! Needless to say, he's history! So I married a mama's boy, divorced him, and then later married the exact opposite. Both have pros and cons - can't there just be a happy medium?! Hello and thank you for reading. You are too kind.
I love Raspberry doughnuts.. I will bring the coffee! Between our love of doughnuts and your writing style, where have you been all my Hub life? I know I am going to enjoy your work! I'm feeling very similar in thought You crack me up kialina.. AND the man who will wear them.. Thank your for your humor! How about the mum who still buys her married son his underwear and socks You are TOOO kind! I appreciate you stopping by to read and comment. My Favorite Hubber You! Thanks for that response Healthy Pursuits. That is so true. I have definaltley met that man! These parent child relationships really set the bar for how someone will behave in life.
You brought up an excellent point! Between the misogynist and the momma's boy is another category to run from. That's the guy who is frustrated because he's still looking for his mother's love and getting it only often enough to keep him coming back for more. We look at women and their mothers and men and their fathers and think of those relationships as very involved and interesting. I am sure it would bring them out of the word work and they would leave evil comments..
Mysogynist is another whole HUB in itself! I wouldn't touch that with someone else's computer! That subject brings out bad vibes and disappointment! I think you have met the classic Mama's boy and I am glad you ran far away. This demonstrates the damaged psychology of this individual and the cycle of dependence he could not break. Certain hovering mothers enable their sons to be this way and they really ruin the lives of their sons.
They get flattered and an emotional high from the praise and worship from their son's and thrive off of it.